Geez, I didn't think I be posting one of these for a while now, but it's one of my rants for the day and has been bugging me for a while.
So, I feel like I'm the one whose always left out of things. Or the one who tries the hardest and never gets what she wants. If it wasn't in school, it was at home, summer camp or even with friends.
So, I'll start with school. Throughout my school years, I was the "weird girl." I watched anime and hung out with the guys every year as I grew up. For the longest I wanted to be like everyone else and just fit in. It didn't take me until my 8th grade year that the world was fucked up and that I needed to be me, just me. Yet, did stop me from having the type of friends that I really needed.
Don't get me wrong, I love my really close friends with a deep dark passion, but some of them just don't get it. For example, my best friend is a sweet girl, but over the years, she gets more and more oblivious on what goes on in the world. She lives in her own reality. She has this three story house and all she does is play video games. I've asked her many of times to just hang out there, cause I live in a small one story house and my dad is sorta picky (not in an abusive way, but doesn't like a lot of noise), and she always makes up these excuses. Her sister lives in another country and her parents are divorced. When I do hang out with her, all we ever play is video games. I really don't mind the video games, but when it's the same fucking thing all the time, it just gets really boring.She's also doesn't really understand me or really tries to. She bases off the logic that she grew up with and considers that the truth.
I dunno, I always feel like I end up being the loner in every situation. Like dealing with governor school. I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't really have anyone to talk to, except for my friend TehQuin. It's really hard because I really tried to be friends with all of them, and it always seen to bite me in the ass. I've always been the person for everyone to go to, but I don't have a person who I could go too and just dump all of my problems on. I dunno if because I've had the most suckish summer in existance.... wait, that's the cause.
I know it's bad that I'm jumping topic to topic, but that's how my mind works. Mkay, this is what my summer WAS suppose to go. I was suppose to spend one week with a couple of my friends, and then go spend my last full summer with my Nana before college. My cousin was suppose to pick me up and my mom takes me back. Well my cousin didn't follow that plan and basically SCREW up all of my plans. I told him that I needed to be picked up in June, because I had a shitload of things to do in July, especially with college. Well he decided that he was going to change the month that he was going to pick me up in. He didn't tell me until the end of the June of his new plan, especially since I'm already packed to leave, screwing me completely. If I would've known that he wasn't going to pick me up like has planned, I could've gotten a job and made some extra cash, but since it was July and I went to school in August, there was no way that anyone would hire me. Yeah, does that just suck. So, I'm stuck in the house with the internet being my only best friend!!!!!
Yeah, that's how my fucking life is going on right now. And I feel much better after a long rant. Chao.
So, I feel like I'm the one whose always left out of things. Or the one who tries the hardest and never gets what she wants. If it wasn't in school, it was at home, summer camp or even with friends.
So, I'll start with school. Throughout my school years, I was the "weird girl." I watched anime and hung out with the guys every year as I grew up. For the longest I wanted to be like everyone else and just fit in. It didn't take me until my 8th grade year that the world was fucked up and that I needed to be me, just me. Yet, did stop me from having the type of friends that I really needed.
Don't get me wrong, I love my really close friends with a deep dark passion, but some of them just don't get it. For example, my best friend is a sweet girl, but over the years, she gets more and more oblivious on what goes on in the world. She lives in her own reality. She has this three story house and all she does is play video games. I've asked her many of times to just hang out there, cause I live in a small one story house and my dad is sorta picky (not in an abusive way, but doesn't like a lot of noise), and she always makes up these excuses. Her sister lives in another country and her parents are divorced. When I do hang out with her, all we ever play is video games. I really don't mind the video games, but when it's the same fucking thing all the time, it just gets really boring.She's also doesn't really understand me or really tries to. She bases off the logic that she grew up with and considers that the truth.
I dunno, I always feel like I end up being the loner in every situation. Like dealing with governor school. I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't really have anyone to talk to, except for my friend TehQuin. It's really hard because I really tried to be friends with all of them, and it always seen to bite me in the ass. I've always been the person for everyone to go to, but I don't have a person who I could go too and just dump all of my problems on. I dunno if because I've had the most suckish summer in existance.... wait, that's the cause.
I know it's bad that I'm jumping topic to topic, but that's how my mind works. Mkay, this is what my summer WAS suppose to go. I was suppose to spend one week with a couple of my friends, and then go spend my last full summer with my Nana before college. My cousin was suppose to pick me up and my mom takes me back. Well my cousin didn't follow that plan and basically SCREW up all of my plans. I told him that I needed to be picked up in June, because I had a shitload of things to do in July, especially with college. Well he decided that he was going to change the month that he was going to pick me up in. He didn't tell me until the end of the June of his new plan, especially since I'm already packed to leave, screwing me completely. If I would've known that he wasn't going to pick me up like has planned, I could've gotten a job and made some extra cash, but since it was July and I went to school in August, there was no way that anyone would hire me. Yeah, does that just suck. So, I'm stuck in the house with the internet being my only best friend!!!!!
Yeah, that's how my fucking life is going on right now. And I feel much better after a long rant. Chao.
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