A Sweet Serenity

I've noticed over the years how it's much harder for me to become inspired. 

I've always been the person to inspire others or make them feel good about themselves. 

Yet, I could never feel the same. 

I've seem to lose more and more of the flame that makes me...well me. 

Well, I gotta say, I never expected one anime to bring something back that I really believed that I had lost. 

That has to be Gurren Lagann. Sure the anime is epic and amazing, it's really the underlying tones and themes that really seems to affect me the most. 

Go the Impossible, See the Invisible 

 I always bragged about being the female to surpass the men in a field dominated of me and power. Yet, lately it only seemed to be if I was boasting. Yet, Gurren Lagann told me to "just kick logic to the curb and do the impossible." Something that I was used to be good at. 

 I was and still seem to be the person who wants to be known and liked. I had finally gotten over it in high school, but it seemed to get worse when I wanted to be friends with people on the internet. I could tell now that I was desperate for being liked and known. I wanted followers like other people, yet, what does it really matter.

I made this blog for one reason and one reason only: a diary.
It was because I lost my most amazing rant journal and I needed something to rant in.
Which is why I'm ranting my feelings now. I don't need to be like other people on the internet or like or whatever. I have to kick my own flawed reason to the curb. That's why I'm my badass self.

I may not be like Kamina, or I may not be like Simon, but I "have to believe in the me that believes in myself".

I'm the crazy punk-street girl with a fetish for technology. The girl who is gonna kick all of the guys asses out of the water in web design. The one who invents her own style of awesomery. And yes, I did just make up a word.

I'm gonna go for the impossible and do what makes me, me. Go back to that crafty technical girl who does things the unconventional way.

Besides, Who The Hell Do You Think I Am!

I posted this in Tumblr, but I decided that I'm gonna add them to my blog.

Even though I don't any followers, I haven't done a proper introduction post yet. It's very personal and describes me.

So here it is~

Name: Chary

Nickname: Chibi

Age: 18

Weight: 165 (but people say I don't look it)

Height: 5'3"

I'm a 36 DD, and all of my friends are jealous.
I absolutely love all types of anime, manga and cartoons. Unlike a lot of people (mostly female), I love harems, especially the ecchi type.
 

I absolutely ADORE music with a passion. If music was a man, I would be on my hands and knees doing anything that he wanted me to. I seriously love music that much. Music is my clutch in life. Without it, I would be this devastated, depress chick that hates life. I've been through so much emotional crap throughout my life that I rely on music to be my savior from the everyday world. So, if you really want to get on my good side, give me something good to listen to. 

Hmm, what else about me~~~ Oh. 

I'll talk about all of the things that plague me and there's a long ass list, so please bare with me. 

I'll just make a list of it. 

• Eczema- it's a skin diseases that causes rashes to cover most of my body. It's manageable most of the time, except for when the weather changes or when I'm super stressed.
• Low Self Esteem- at times, I'm a pretty confident person, but there are times that I breakdown way too easy. 
• Crybaby- I blame this on being a Pisces, but I get upset easily. It's more when my parents are upset about me that I start crying. 
• Stress- I get stressed out easily and it causes all types of problems. It was really bad when I was in middle school, to the point where I started to lose hair. 
• Anxiety- I'm not diagnosed with it, but my parents believe that I have a problem with it. I go into mild panic attacks a lot, so it's sorta bad. Plus, I also have a fast heart rate, and it causes it to go even faster which scares the shit out of me. 

Yeah, I'm sorta sad when it comes to my personality, but I'm still doing well. I have it better than people who have it worse, so I'm not complaining at all.=^.^=

Um, I think that all of the important info about me. So, when I get some, or if any followers, you could know some basic info on me. 

It's been nine freakin days without my baby, companion, amigo, all of the above. 

It's my pseudo-best friend and the only thing that keeps me from losing it. 

My Zune, my wonderful 16 GB Zune. 
This is the only thing that really keeps me from the pain that reality creates.
I really know that it's sad that I rely on an inanimate object to keep me from one of my many breakdowns, well, I could really care less what others think. I've had gone through so much shit in my life that I've found ways to escape the world and image my own. And the best way that I do this is with my music.

With over 1900 songs, I have a different song that goes with each mood and different phases of my life. If I'm feeling sad, I listen to techno and hardcore underground hip-hop. If I'm angry, it's soothing J-Pop, and if I just want to me alone: I just mix up everything.

Yet, I can't see to find it anywhere in my house and it's literally ripping me to shreds. Without it, I have to deal with my angry and upset brother and my lazy dad, while my mom is at work. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and brother very much, but it's much harder to deal with since I can't escape from my life.

Yeah, so I'm looking really hard to find the one thing that keeps me sane. If not, I dunno what I'm gonna do.